Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Welcome to Jeremy's Index. This is an index to the posts over at Jeremy's Weblog.

Not everything I've written is indexed here, just the longer pieces and stuff it makes sense to index (e.g., not "random thoughts on "American Idol," nothing that's just a paragraph-long anecdote or was once timely and is no longer relevant or interesting or random stuff "about my day").

Some things were hard to categorize. I've done my best. Song parodies are about 1/2 of the way down, if that's what you're looking for. The law firm stuff from this summer is at the top, even though chronologically it makes sense farther down. About a third of the way down is serious-ish stuff that's probably most useful as far as "advice." A few things in other categories are listed again there. Like I said, hard to categorize some of this stuff.

Stuff I like especially much is in red instead of blue. That may be useful, or just self-indulgent. I don't know. I picked stuff I remember and didn't go back to re-read anything, so there's more newer stuff flagged than older stuff, and I flagged the whole "serious" category because it's hard to pick favorites. All of my "real" posts are like children. Terrible analogy. Forgive me. That would make my song parodies like my illegitimate children I guess, or the children I love less. I should stop now. On with the index.

****UPDATED 12/15/04****

Post-2L Summer at a Law Firm
Blogging while working: an intro post
Expectations for the summer, the night before the job starts
The first day of work: filling out forms
"You Working on Anything?" A bizarre sketch
Billing time
"Thirty-Third floor, please" Another bizarre sketch
The moment of panic when you mess something up
Questions and answers about legal research
The art tour
Lunch E-Mails: How we spend the bulk of our days
Questions not to ask when meeting members of the firm's executive committee
More about lunch
Conference calls, and EVEN MORE about lunch
Urinals and lawyers
Open Letter to a Law Firm Partner (sort of serious)
I don't know what corporations do
Thirty things not to do in court
Is LUNCH all I write about?
The 5-weeks-in report (sort of serious)
Open Letter to Law Firm Partner II (less serious, and mentions genital warts)
Fortune-telling for lawyers
The A-to-Z of being a summer associate: an acrostic poem
Ten signs you've been a lawyer too long
Summer Associate Survivor
Taxi drivers know a lot of stuff
Fifteen law firm rankings American Lawyer is working on
Twenty-five things I didn't do at work today
Open Letter from Lexis Rep (funny, not serious)
A redacted post
Parody of a Departure E-mail
Antitrust Seminar
"The Nine Weeks of Summer..."
Questions to think about during interview process (serious, not funny)
The Day in the Life of a Summer Associate Mega Post
Dress code
Inappropriate interview questions
Agreement to sell your children
Summer Associate decisions-in-a-day quiz
Pretty darn serious thoughts about the summer (extra useful I think)
Unpopular practice groups
Thought on gaming the system (serious, not funny)
Cancelled summer associate events (funny, not serious)
Lunch, taken to an extreme
End of summer activities (funny, not serious)
Twenty-one ways to decline work
Fifteen questions I'm tired of answering at lunch
"Fifty Ways to Leave Your Law Firm"
Summer Associate Departure Procedures
New York is a Hard City to Live In

Nine Summer Associate Gift Ideas for your Secretary
The Blackberry
Expectations vs. Reality of the Summer Associate Experience
$125,000: Is It Enough?, and more on that
Observations after a week doing pro bono work
The Post: Why I Didn't Take My Law Firm Full-Time Offer

The 1L Experience -- observations on 1L life, roughly chronologically
My Orientation Schedule
Making fun of the health plan
The Journals Fair
Bad Advice from 2Ls and 3Ls
The Different Types of Law Students
Going to 1L Receptions
Solitaire in Class
Evaluating the Course Evaluations
Happy Thanksgiving, 1L -- what I've learned so far
Beginning the 1L Summer Job Search
I Never Go Into Boston
1L Job Fair
Time to Study for Finals
Home for Break, and Studying
Making fun of "Harvard Magazine"
Fall exams are finished!
Truth, Justice, and the Summer Job Search
Gettin' Grades
778 Words about Assigned Seating
Harvard-MIT Valentine's Day Matchup Survey
Making sense of grades, and random other stuff
The Moot Court Competition
Toilet Humor (buying a plunger)
Admitted Students Weekend
Extracurricular Activities
Free Cookies, and The War In Iraq
It's Time for Course Selection!
The Student Organization Election Primer
The Public Interest Auction
Advice I'd Wish I'd Had when 1L year started
The Dean's Town Meeting: A Summary
It's Time for On-Campus Recruiting!
Books, Be Gone!
It's Over! the end of 1L year

1L Summer -- columns and observations
Questions and answers about the law review writing competition
Why I didn't do the law review competition
3 1/8 inches -- the last word about the law review competition
Tales from the working world, volume 1
If you're not at a law firm...
Bar review classes... the rumors
Seamus, the Fighting Irish Leprechaun
Independence Day, once you're a law student
I Have Seen The Devil, and he is a lawyer
The Last 800 words about grades
900 Words on researching law firms
Blackout!

Life as a 2L
My first 30 minutes back on campus, a very very detailed description
I Should Probably Buy Some Dress Socks
The standard first day of class speech
Career Services' interview dress tips
Last-minute Interview Tips from hiring partners
Diary of an Interview
Interviewing is like a Costume Party
Why being a 2L is less fun than being a 1L
Thank-you notes to law firm interviewers
800 Words about callback interviews
The A-to-Z Guide to Callback Interviews
Hazed and Confused
Finals?!?
Renovating the cafeteria
Law School Weekly Events Newsletter
2L Spring: How To Spend Your 168 Hours a Week
Real Excerpts from the Course Catalog
Online Grades? Finally!
It's Clerkship Application Reflection Season!
Mocking the Events Calendar
Extracurricular Elections time
Spring Break Early
Panel on Combining a Career in Law and Politics
The 3Ls are writing papers...
Class Marshal elections
April Fools Articles about Law School more more more more more
Debunking course selection myths
Westlaw Training Session: Prepare to Practice
Jesse Ventura speaks at the law school
The 4-Week Exam Study Plan
A Job Advice Session for the Soulless
Wexis Training
Summer's Coming!
Questions and Answers about the end of the school year

Life As a 3L
The Nine Types of Clerkships
Thoughts on Plagiarism at the Law School
Harvard Law Bulletin: Class Notes
Template for Judges to use to Reject Clerkship Candidates
Frequently Asked Questions: Callback Interviews
The Impact of Classrooms on how good the class is
Flu Vaccines
Guide to Flyout Week
American Lawyer Summer Associate Rankings
The Red Sox Curse is Broken
Red State Blue State One State Two State
Law Firm Cliches
Reading the Law School Catalog
My Revised Course Evaluation Form

Interviews and Job Stuff, 1L edition
What the process seemed like as a 1L
Bidding for firms, a 1L perspective
World's Worst Cover Letter (1L)
World's Worst Cover Letter #2 (1L)
World's Worst Cover Letter #3 (1L)
Dear Potential Summer Employer... (1L)
Thoughts on law firm prestige
What a resume looks like
Advice on the summer after 1L year

Interviews and Job Stuff, 2L edition (also see "Life as a 2L" section just above)
26 made-up law firm perks, one starting with each letter
Acrostic poem about law firm interviews
Questions not to ask specific law firms during interviews
Ten questions not to ask at career orientation sessions
Scarcastic interview hints and tips
Thoughts the night before interviews started
World's Worst Interview, #1
Attorney Bios
Haiku interview answers the sequel
On-campus interview update-your-friends e-mail template
Haiku about interviews
Ten places law firms don't conduct interviews
Interview sketch
Thoughts on being done with on-campus interviews
A-to-Z things not to do at a callback interview
Fifteen Rules for callback interviews
Thoughts after two callbacks
Lines to avoid if you're an interviewer
Mock voice mail from a law firm wanting you to decide already
I'm Unique: Passages from Law Firm Websites
The First Two Weeks at a Firm, the Imaginary Diary

Recruiting Advice for 2Ls


Exam Advice
All about outlining, and other thoughts
More thoughts on exams
Practice Exams
Study Groups
Supplemental study guides
Ultimate exam study post 2004: 10 steps to exam success that start out useful but degenerate
Diary of an exam (trying to be funny)
Answers to your civ pro exam (trying to be funny)

General Law School Advice and other Actual Real Honest Stuff That Isn't Trying to Be Funny

LSAT Advice
Why I Like Law School
Ten Pieces of Advice for 1Ls
Is Law School the right choice?"
How I ended up in Law School
Essay Editing services
Should I go to grad school?
The transience of modern life (and a song)
Q&A from 1Ls about law school
More Q&A from 1Ls-to-be
Ack! I'm Scared! Help!
How practical is this education?
More assorted thoughts and advice
"I'm going to law school in the fall! What should I do this summer?"
Pre-law prep courses
The $1000 Law Student quality-of-life shopping spree
LSAT Scores
Thoughts about the "older people" in my section
On school vs. work
Law school as a credentializing system
What I think about grades more on grades
Poem about the start of 1L classes
A ballad about the holidays
Free verse poem about September 11th
What I'm Thankful For, 2003 edition
Reflection on being a 2L and why that sort of sucks compared to being a 1L
Thoughts for 1Ls on Receiving your First set of Law School Grades
What I Want in a Law Professor
Thoughts on the Law School's survey of student experiences
On work-life balance more
Law school rankings / is law school worth it?
Thoughts on how to choose a law school
Thoughts on having a weblog, from BloggerCon
Thoughts on hearing 3Ls reflecting on graduation
Law school is just school: some advice-ish stuff
"The Progress Paradox"
Okay, so you're going to law school in the fall: a mega-post of advice
Introverts and extroverts more a lot more
Competitiveness in law school
"The Paradox of Choice"
Thoughts on what a perfect day might look like
"The Fabulist"
Thoughts on people and friendship and stuff like that
Questions to think about during interview process for law firms
The Day in the Life of a Summer Associate Mega Post
Pretty darn serious thoughts about the summer
The "thinking about law school" mega-post
New York is a Hard City to Live In
LSAT thoughts more

Song Parodies
"The Casebook Connection" to the tune of "The Rainbow Connection"
"What is Law" to the tune of "What Is Love"
"When They're Over" (Exams) to the tune of Sugar Ray's "When It's Over"
"Hired" to the tune of Creed's "Higher"
"The Twelve Days of Finals" (think Christmas)
"Just a B" to the tune of "Let It Snow"
"Study Group Dropout" to the tune of "Beauty School Dropout"
"Law School B" to the tune of "Sloop John B"
"It's the Bluebook" to the tune of "Copacabana"
"Langdell (library) Reading Room" to the tune of "Margaritaville"
"I Want to Raise My Hand" to the tune of "I Want to Hold Your Hand"
"Beer for my Courses" to the tune of Toby Keith's "Beer for my Horses"
"Billing Me Softly" to the tune of "Killing Me Softly"
"Raise My Hand" to the tune of Hootie and the Blowfish's "Hold My Hand"
"Sue You, Sue Me" to the tune of Lionel Richie's "Say You, Say Me"
"Red Mouse Nub" to the tune of Phil Collins' "One More Night"
"The (public interest) Things You Can Do" to the tune of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music
"Tomorrow" to the tune of (duh) "Tomorrow" from Annie
"The Law, It Is A-Changing to the tune of "The Times, They Are A-Changing"
"Someone Else's Notes to the tune of Bryan White's "Someone Else's Star"
"A Whole New Grade" to the tune of "A Whole New World"
"Open Book" to the tune of Journey's "Open Arms"
"Choose My Class" to the tune of "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast
"Negligence" to the tune of "Happiness" from You're A Good Man Charlie Brown
"I'm Losing Ames (moot court competition) from the Start" to the tune of "Quit Playing Games With My Heart"
"Your Lecture Is A Slumberland" to the tune of "Your Body Is A Wonderland"
"Me And The Registrar Down By The Wait List" to the tune of "Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard"
"B-Plus" to the tune of "Downtown"
"Proctor and the Cheat" to the tune of "Beauty and the Beast"
"It's a Small Curve After All" to the tune of "It's A Small World After All"
"Friends With Low Paychecks" to the tune of "Friends In Low Places"
"L-S-A-T One More Time" to the tune of Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time"
"Sweet Firm O' Mine" to the tune of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline"
"This Is The Firm" to the tune of Clay Aiken's "This Is The Night"
"Missin' Defendant" to the tune of Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent"
"Our Lawyer's Here To Stay" to the tune of "Our Love Is Here to Stay"
"Mesothelioma" to the tune of Smokey Robinson's "I Second That Emotion"
"Curvin' GPA" to the tune of "Surfin' USA"
"Clerkin' USA" to the tune of "Surfin' USA"
"The Registrator" to the tune of Billy Joel's "The Entertainer"
"Tort People to the tune of Randy Newman's "Short People"
"Cheat off my Classmate" to the tune of Luther Vandross' "Dance with my Father"
"We're Blackin' Out to the tune of Billy Joel's "Movin' Out" (about the NYC blackout)
"In Which Section Are You?" to the tune of Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"
"Firm, Firm, Firm" to the tune of "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds
"I'll Interview You" to the tune of The Beatles' "I'm Looking Through You"
"Pay Me More" to the tune of "Let It Snow"
"It's Gonna Be B" to the tune of "It's Gonna Be Me" by N'Sync
"They Didn't Get Elected"(The Supreme Court Justice Song), to the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire"
"Big Firm" to the tune of Billy Joel's "Big Shot"
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer: Law School Version
Christmas Law School Parody Medley
"Read the Constitution With Me" to the tune of "Locomotion"
"Did You Get What I Got?" to the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear?"
"Post-Test Time" to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne"
"I Can't Make You Read Me" to the tune of "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt
"Don't Know Much (But I Know the Case Law)" to the tune of "Don't Know Much" by Aaron Neville
"Do You Know That Gunner's GPA?" to the tune of "Do You Know The Way to San Jose?"
"Admissible" to the tune of "Invisible" by Clay Aiken
"Bar/Bri" to the tune of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow
"Walking in Class Late" to the tune of "Walking in Memphis" by Marc Cohn
"Depreciation" to the tune of "Locomotion"
"Learning Legalese" to the tune of "Turning Japanese" by The Vapors
"It's Still Number Twelve to Me" to the tune of "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" by Billy Joel
"That's What Codes Are For" to the tune of "That's What Friends Are For"
"That's What [Steroid] Creams Are For" to the tune of "That's What Friends Are For"
"The Duty of Care" to the tune of "The Circle of Life" by Elton John
"Eat (On the Firm)" to the tune of "Jump (For my Love)" by the Pointer Sisters

Songs That Aren't Parodies
"Don't Call On Me," an original song about the Socratic Method
"You Have Jurisdiction Over Me," a civil procedure love song
"If the World Went By the Model Penal Code"
"You're the Adverse Possessor of my Heart"
The Tort Liability Song
"Interview Suit"
"Twenty Minutes" (an interview song)
"I Own An Easement on You" (a Valentine's Day song)
The Ballad of the Eight Hour Exam
"Land of Brilliant but Modest"

Lists of Stuff
100 Law Students You Don't Want to Be
Top Ten Things It's Not A Good Idea to Do Two Weeks Before Starting Law School
Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear the Professor Say on the First Day of Law School
Top Fifteen Things My Mom Thinks I'll Need At Harvard But I Really Won't
Top Ten Things The Most Competitive Law Student at Harvard Will Bring to School
Nine orientation tips for law students
Top Ten Things A Professor Shouldn't Say At the End of the Last Class of the Semester
Five signs that it's cold outside
Twenty-five things not to do the night before exams
Five Time-Saving Tips for Peak Performance on Timed Take-Home Exams
My Twenty-Five Onion Headlines
Ten Things I Saw People Do In Class Today To Make The Time Pass Quicker
Top Ten Registrar Mistakes Regarding 1L Grades
Top Ten Lies I Think Law Students Should All Conspire To Tell Admitted Students And Scare Them Away
Ten law schools waiting for ABA approval
Fifty productive things I didn't do over spring break
Fourteen boring-sounding courses
Twenty things not to do when studying for exams
Ten classes not offered by any law school
Things you'll rarely hear in law school
Ten Really Terrible 10-Second Law Firm Interview Answers To The Question, "How Do You Like Law School?"
Five people to sue after the NYC Blackout
Ten lies 2Ls and 3Ls should tell 1Ls
Ten things not to ask a lawyer on the recruiting path
Ten things the law school groundskeepers did over the summer
Ten spam e-mail headers you never see
Ten things you don't want your syllabus to say
Ten tips when choosing a seat
The twenty ranks of journal work positions
Ten law school organizations that don't exist
Twelve really bad pickup lines for lawyers
Nine Christmas Song Titles for Lawyers
Twenty New Years Resolutions for Law Professors
Twenty New Years Resolutions for Law Students
Ten Things Simon Cowell Would Say if the Show was Called "Judicial Idol"
Seven Valentine's Day Gifts for Law Students
Ten reasons why 1Ls choose to do the law review competition
Twenty-six overused law school phrases
Ten pranks to pull in class on April Fools' day
Thirteen things to study instead of the 1933 and 1934 securities acts
Eleven beverages for before a law school exam
Twenty reasons to drop a class
After-Thanksgiving Sales at the Law School Bookstore

Comedy Sketches
First Day of Law School: A Nightmare
If Kindergarten was Socratically Taught
1L Summer Job Hunt
The Unprepared Professor
Socratic Idol
World's Worst Summer Job Phone Interview
Two Minutes with the world's most ineffective professor
World's Worst Law Career Panels Discussion
Law Dust
Career Services Training Video
How to excel at law firm job interviews, by the national association of late-night telemarketers
Stampons!
"You Don't Get Paid... Until We Get Paid"
Willy Wonka Toothpaste

The Children's Guide to Law School
Introduction
Chapter One: Arriving At Law School
Chapter Two: Going to Class
Chapter Three: Legal Journals

The 1L Course Primer: 100 Words About...
Contracts
Torts
Property
Criminal Law
Civil Procedure
Constitutional Law
Legal Writing


Other Wacky Diversions
Law School Mad Libs
Christmas Limericks about Law School
Rhyming couplets about the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure
An excerpt from the popular study guide, "Civil Procedure for Dummies"
Five anagrams for "Law School Is Fun"
A (brief) Choose Your Own Adventure law school story
Law School's Scariest Voice Mail Messages
Mnemonic Devices for Civil Procedure
Twas the night before classes...
Tort Limericks
The "Talking About Your Grades" code
Phony law school news briefs
Dr. Seuss's "Oh the Law School Exams You'll Take" (scroll down a bit for it)
The "Should I Go To Law School" quiz
Study Group Diary
Orientation for Introverts
Frog and Toad write the law review competition
A bunch of haiku about dorm rooms
Summer update Letter-O-Rama
Some haiku about grades
Country music song titles for law students
Twas the night before law school...
Error-filled orientation
What if movie reviewers reviewed casebooks?
Two Truths and a Lie: The Inside Scoop
Insta-Law-O-Matic Casebook Condenser
Law Review drinking game
Bad stand-up comedy routine about being a law student
JD-Date
Study Group Application
Acrostic Poem: Intellectual Curiosity
The 13-Day Exam Survivor Challenge
Dr. Seuss Goes To Law School: I Do Not Like It, Exam-I-Am
Law School Sniglets
Exam Countdown
Recommendation Letter from Law Professor to Law Firm
Baseball Player Haikus, Offseason 2003
Con Law Cartoon Characters
Harvard Law Review Sex Video Making Rounds on the Internet
Holiday Law-Related Movies and TV
Saddam Hussein on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"
E-mails I Didn't Receive from 1Ls About Exams
Twas the night before the night before the night before Christmas
Holiday Gift Ideas for Law Professors (that you can buy on the Internet)
Movies I Saw in 2002 and 2003
Law School Nutritional Plan: A New You to Sue
Create Your Own Exam Question: Torts
The Ultimate Law School Purity Test
Goofus and Gallant Go To Law School
Point/Counterpoint: Winter Term
Toys for Parents Who Want Their Children to Grow Up To Be Lawyers
Selected Provisions of Article 9 of the UCC
2 1Ls on Instant Messenger About to Find Out Their Grades
Letter to a 1L: The Weather in Boston
Ideas for New Law School Improvements
Notes on Flipping Through My New Casebooks
20 Questions for an Incompetent and Largely Unqualified Federal Judge
Interview with the B I got in Evidence
Corporations Exam Hypothetical
Thoughts on Harvard's Porn Magazine
The Law School Typology Scale
The 40 Law Review Leadership Positions
A Socratic Dialogue in Support of the Socratic Method
Fun with the Tax Code
Hop on Pop, after Pop gets Gastric Bypass Surgery
Martha Stewart Blogs from Prison
Craigslist/Law School/Missed Connections
My Chinese Take-Out Menu: A Review
Is It A Fifty Cent Lyric or a Federal Rule of Criminal Procedure?
The Really Unofficial Guide to LLM Life
Twenty Types of Law Students, each keyed to a different baseball player
Amazon.com casebook user reviews
Debriefing my fantasy baseball drafts
Fake course selection choices
Yo Momma' jokes for law students
April Fools jokes on law school websites
Make your own law school course catalog
Fake TV listings for law-related TV shows
Proposal for new law professor evaluation form
"If I Ran The Harvard Law School"
20 Questions with the Harvard Law School Ice Rink
Lawyer's First Sublet Agreement
Parodying an e-mail from the new Dean of Students
Law school section superlatives
The post-exam vaudeville routine
Conversation between two tax lawyers at the watercooler
Excerpts from new Fox shows featuring Simon Cowell as judge
All Star Game Drinking Game

Field Guide to the Corporate Lawyer
Starbucks Menu Parody
Parodying Long E-mail Threads
How To Spell Chanukah

My Trip To Paris
Funny Reflections on Paris I
Paris II
Paris III
Paris IV
Paris V
Paris VI
Paris VII
Ten Ways Law School is Probably Different in Paris

London
Day One
Day Two
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
The Big London Wrap-up


Political Humor
A Democratic Debate Sketch
"Another [Democratic Presidential] Debate" to the tune of "Scarborough Fair"
The Election Season Evening News
Fun With Anagrams
Howard Dean's Scream -- the aftermath
Excerpts from New Hampshire Victory Speeches
Early South Carolina Exit Polls I Made Up
Dean Loses Primary, Bares Breast on TV
Dennis Kucinich Comes to Law School
Live Thoughts on the Democratic Debate #1
Democratic Debate Parody #2
Air America Network programming schedule
"The Greatest Moments of the 2004 Debates..."
Ronald Reagan sketch
Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game
Bush v. Kerry Debate Parody 10/14/04
Election Day Battleground Previews
Rush Transcript: President Bush's Post-Election Press Conference
Yasser Arafat or the Boston Red Sox?

Saturday, August 07, 2004

This is an open comments thread for the main blog. I have no idea if anyone will use this, but I'll read it and respond to stuff if anyone wants to write anything.